Where has my faith went ? Day 1 ITS NEVER TOO LATE

I always lead myself as carefree, funloving as i can
I always try my best in almost everything i do
I gave in my best
I was contented
I got a light directing me
in the end it's only a facade

I have never teared for anyone except for my deceased grandfather.
here i am, today tearing for some silly stuff
I always believed in myself in what i am capable of.
I think i am just too naive in the end
16years in the globe doesnt seem to be a big fuck anymore
I brought my courage telling myself i can achieve, i will achieve
I tried my best, it was a futile one
I don't blame anyone
Perhaps this is how life works
The strong gets stronger and the weak can die off eventually.
I got back my courage, got rid of my past
But the future hurts even more
Is that a dark or bright future?

Why am i always the unlucky one?
Nothing can help anymore
I started losing my faith
I always believed in miracles
But now, i don't think i'd ever believe in it
Too deep that i don't even know
I shall never believe in love anymore
Until someone make me.
I tried my best already
You can't see it
I dont care anymore
I got frank with you because i don't want any arouse any suspicious
I want to understand you
I tried to understand you
But i think i can't
There's too many blockade.
I can't possibly do everything by myself
I want to change
I changed
I used lesser vulgarities if you noticed. not just infront of you
& everything is futile

What's going to happen?
No one sees the future
I am a nobody
Emo one corner and no body bothers
f'mylife
fuckthis seriously

triffany if you see this blog, don't be so shocked.
there are so many things i want to tell you but i can't.
can you hear my cries?
i'll just remain my blog here just for you to read. only you.
until i decided to make it public once again
i'm not changing my password.
i guess eventually you'll forget me anyway.
i don't put high hopes
but there's still a diminishing flame of hope burning in me.

emo? yeah i'm emoing right now. you think i don't emo? i don't show them easily
why?
I dont know why
I lost my faith in a day
I wonder when can i regain it back
I am really really really very tired
I might just break down anytime right now
i understand that you are sad
but i don't understand how you feel if you don't tell me.

不能说的秘密?
this is bullshit.
every secret will be revealed.
but i still believe it in. reason is simple.
because it's wo men zhi jian de mi mi

I used to tell someone "If you don't help yourself nobody can help you alr"
she said " dont act like you know things"
maybe she got a point here.
things kept secret and it'd never be known.
Confusion. I don't like. Neither do i like illusions.

cheerup?
i can't fake a smile right now
i can't achieve it
maybe?
i'll try my best because this is life. life has to go on. so what if i emo? nobody really cares

living on?
sure do.
seeing you change?
i see a little
but that's too little.
i want to see more.
don't take my concern for nothing
doesnt give me a good feeling.
that's not enough.
you can say you are. takes time. i know. at least i see that you are trying to change.



//
bread day_
i really enjoyed that day with you.
i still remb the sweet you first gave to me. it's a strawberry one.

the 3hours walk home_
People will think that i am mad walking to jp during midnight then cabbed home.
why did i do this?
because it's an opportunity for us to be together.
understand each other more.
talking to each other alone.
walking in the romantic streets where there is no people around.

wcp_
the day where you get your hair cut. you're still asking me whether you should get ur hair cut
i told you short hair looks cuter and you did went to cut.
i don't know if you took my words or u just did because u wan pua stunt
although the trip wasnt a long trip. at least i get to see you
see you right in my face.
where theres no sadness in your face.
what about now?
we're getting ourselves so emotional

so many 约定 not accomplished yet.
i am not done!
but look here we are.
i don't think it's gonna come true.

i'm a very cool guy if you haven't noticed[ not the handsome cool type la]
i am willing to sacrifice everything
but looks like i don't even have a chance to.
i don't have a bad temper.
Don't you see i always give in to you?
Why?
Because it's i can't find a reason why i should not.

remember the days when i looked for you when you're working?
why did i still go even if im dead tired? in fact i am really very tired that day
looking at you regenerates my energy.
it's late at night. thinking that you might be lonely alone
so i came to accompany you.
why?
because i cared. i am worried that you will not have your meal.
i am worried that you eat too much junk food.
there are many things i didnt took notice of.
we've to communicate more don't we?
i'm always living in a mysterious land not knowing what are your needs
it's not easy to notice you know?
whatever i do is just for you and you're telling me that we don't suit.
i always told you to take it easy didnt i?
because i don't want you to be so stress.


i don't think i'll be able to fall asleep tonight.
^^;
it's okay, it's a trend already.
I'm trying my best to wan hui what is done tonight.
Can it be done?
Depends on you alr.

you always think i am not xi xin enough?
maybe. i admit
i always cared in my heart.
i don't know how to show and u said i not xi xin. i also bo wei gong because it's quite true
you can blame me for being a nerd
i've told you didnt I?
But I am willing to learn, feel, change.
takes time, i will hasten the speed if i have to.


You're always doing things to make me jealous.
Yes indeed i am.
You know?
我忍住的情绪在很后面．
i don't show it doesnt mean i don't care
what i ever wanted is that your to happy.
love is not about controlling.
love is about happiness, both of us
so what if i be so demanding over you?
what i REALLY wanted is you to happy.
haven't i told you before?
maybe you think i bullshitting
but i can tell you i'm not.
a smile from you can change things instantly you know that?

you said it's over?
That's what you said not me.
haven't i told you?
you said i am a give up boy didnt you?
did i gave up in the end?
i really intended to give up.
reason?
i am really tired.
why didnt i gave up until now?
because i think that there's still possibly.
but what now?
Looks like i'm the one being given up in the end
ironic?
maybe.
what?
i don't blame you
why?
because it's me
who am i?
it's me wei jie(:
just another momo kid in the world.
I HAVE NEVER GIVEN UP UNTIL NOW
UNLESS YOU TELL ME THAT I CAN GET OFF FROM YOUR WORLD


remember the magic i always talked about?
although there's no real magic i can create
but i really want to attempt to create magic.
is it possible?
i doubted
your the one that i need in order to achieve so.
why?
because i've fallen in love with you
when?
unknowningly
how?
fate brought us together unknowningly
everything has it's own meaning.


I know you always like to go against me.
It's fine with me.
as long as it's you
it's you for all i care.
isn't that how people create fun? i really loved fun.
your 嘴硬心软 i know.
what am i? i am 开不了口．
i know deep inside your hinting me.

probably we both wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.
why?
because of this.
I still don't know what i am in your heart.
Care to tell me ?
I am really curious to know.
Am i just a clown? a dirt? a joke?
Sincerity towards you?
Yes i'm very very sincere but if you can't feel it.
i can't do much but to try even harder
deep inside me.
i do things in consideration.
always thinking about you as priority.
sometimes i may be a lil guai lan to you or even scold you.
why?
because i really blew on my top and did u even notice it? i don't know.
and u were like saying i scolded you
how did i resolve?
i apologised didnt i? for scolding you.
and i promised not to scold you anymore.
promise,sincerity,feel. I'd be obligated to do anything
everything. because it's you.
why is it you, you must be thinking?
its been long since i ever loved someone so deeply

after you read all my chants.
the final decision is still up to you.
your the only reason i should go.
drop me a call me tomorrow and tell me your very own feeling that if i should go
and everything can start anew. I am very serious this time, if you think that we're impossible then don't bother to call me up. It's never too late. by calling me up doesnt mean you lose face or you lost the war. i want to know your true feelings.

Just let me be what i am.
I don't blame you for your decision.
and i hope you don't think that i am selfish.
i always took you into consideration in everything.perhaps i didnt really show it.
you kept saying you will die in early age.
do you know how much it aches me?
do you really want to die so much? i'd you say i want to live more, meaningfully
I'd rather you eat more then me.
Why didnt i eat in mos burger yesterday?
I myself don't really know the real reason
Maybe i wanted to try to starve myself to see how much it'd hurt.
everything can be solved as long as the story of two are willing to.

what can we still do? It's NEVER TOO LATE.
Make me feel the faith once again please.
everything between us seems so short.
I need your love too.

777straw hearts from me?
I don't know.
I want to know your feelings.